I Just Stole your Baby’s Identity

You don’t even know me, neither do your parents–true, we’re vaguely connected through a girl I knew junior year in high school–but look at what appeared in my feed, and I now shared on my blog:

exampleInformation blurred for this future-adult’s privacy

You’re beautiful. I hope that when you turn 18 you don’t find out your information has been used for years. It’s just a birth announcement! Those are traditional[ly mailed out to our 458 closest friends]!

Oh little one, I know this first hand.

I genuinely hope everyone is an upstanding citizen. That if they now have this information, it is blurred away in their hands. If not, I hope those who might be willing to steal your ID don’t know how to use the information. You’ll be surprised when you’re only some “stranger” how happily your ID will be used. I have been.

I know, I know…these are your own parents. They know what’s best. But, when you go to buy a fishing license at 18 years old and cannot because your ID was stolen–will it feel so harmless that I have all your information in this copy/paste-able format?

My own year of birth is hidden from public view. Most of my friends do this too. It makes good sense, of course. ID Theft and all, you know? Why make it easy for thieves?

Oh, and they would definitely squawk if I was to share their full name and DOB in this manner on my wall in a public post. “Why did you do that? Someone could steal my ID!” Surely, I would be an appalling person to share this information without their consent, or even prior knowledge that I was posting.

id theft_2

Yet, here you are.

You’ll be treated like the thief, just so you know. You’ll have to go home and find your passport, SSN, birth certificate, and then argue with Fish & Wildlife for the privilege of catching two rainbow trout in an unnamed lake with your friends. You’ll repeat this every year. They insist they will take care of it every year too.

Don’t worry, you won’t have to deal with Sprint, TMoblie, USBank and oh… so many more.

The local electric company definitely won’t send you a “Welcome!” e-mail while you’re living in another state because your e-mail is still associated with your old account information when your someone opens yet another account in your name.

They got SO close this time–your middle name isn’t “Lisa” of course, but they were so, so close.


Don’t worry, those companies won’t tell you your someone’s name. Oh, no. Your someone is protected by privacy laws. The companies/agencies assure you it was a typo, they’ll take care of it. It’s always a typo. Oh yay, they have a fraud department! I hope it knows what it’s doing.

You might try to insist (or sneakily try) to acquire someone’s name or information, anything. They’ll let you know that they won’t share their customer’s private information. If only you were their customer… *le sigh*

Little one, enjoy trying to report ID theft without any information on your someone.

Report to the government. Block your credit. Report to the police! “Who did it?” they’ll ask. “Someone!”

Granted, when you report to the government, they explicitly state they are not going to discuss details of the case with you. You’ll hope it’s going to do something–but now you’re running head-first into your 30’s, and there hasn’t been much progress.


Moms, dads, guardians of future-adults! What are your plans to deal with your small person’s ID in the online sphere?

Dealing with ID theft has been a painful experience for me. It was stolen when my mother was filing for divorce when I was still in high school. I only discovered it when I was trying to start “real life” using my own information and couldn’t, because my someone had a gotten a head start.

I’ve decided on only using the first initial for my blog, and first name only for Facebook. Date of birth might be easy to determine based on posted dates of birthday party photos, true…but I’m not going to explicitly type it out.

What about you? I’d love to hear your thoughts!


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