The Merit of Indian Horoscopes


Upon discovering my existence (and her son’s intent to marry me) my mother-in-law requested my information, immediately. My horoscope information. No, not that I am an Aquarius, or Year of the Wood Ox or anything like that. But the exact time, date, and geographical coordinates of my birth. Then ran off to get our horoscopes read.

Lucky for me, the blessed sage in charge of our dates and stars said that had my mother-in-law brought him a thousand other girls, it was unlikely to be such a good match. In terms of how seriously Indians take marriage horoscopes–I probably owe that guy a huge hug.

After our wedding, like any Indian mother-in-law, she has inquired into my health frequently and whether we have “any good news” for her (read: Why am I still not a grandma???). It’s been seven very long months since we have been married, and the wait was too much. She had our horoscopes read again.

The result: We are going to have a boy, in December AND I’m going to talk to my father-in-law, and warm his heart towards me.

Sheesh! Busy 2014!

We all chuckled, my father-in-law doesn’t speak English and unless my Tamil improves beyond a few choice phrases about food–I’ll be only warming his curry.

After the phone conversation my husband and I laughed again. “Wait,” we laughed. “For our son to be born at that time… that means, we’re pregnant right now!” *queue hearty laughter*

Fast forward two weeks… Ok, so it’s Easter, and I’m two days late for my period. This is generally normal for me to be off 1-2 days, but it’s Easter and I want to have wine. So I decide I better confirm so I don’t have to feel guilty about a glass of Riesling.

So, I snag a pregnancy test along with the raspberry lemonade, 7Up, and the berries I’m going to mix and bring to the party. I throw it all on the conveyor belt: Prepare for Easter. Check.


I come home, pee on the stick…it is the yes-you-are-pregnant double bars before I even have time to replace the cap and wait the requisite three minutes. I break a sweat. Three minutes… still double-bars.

My husband was in the other room napping off seasonal allergies, but I had to tell him somehow… so I make him this:

photo (3)Reads: “So, Indian horoscopes have some merit”
Side note: it’s very hard to write on a diaper.

I set it next to his sleeping head, and leave the room.

“HhhuuuUhhh!!!!!!!” I hear from the other room. “What! What? Baby! Baby? You’re pregnant???

Update (06/11):

  • Due Date Calculator: DECEMBER 26-27th (darn horoscopes). But, babies tend to come whenever they are ready anyways so who knows.
  • First Appointment: May 16th – 8 Weeks!
  • Doctor’s Due Date: December 25-26th. Birth Month: December.
  • Second (Impromptu Panic) Appointment: June 6th – 11 Weeks! -Movement!
  • Third Appointment: June 13th – 12 Weeks!
  • Family gets to know: June 13th
  • Facebook Official: June 20th, 27th, or July 4th (undecided)

One thought on “The Merit of Indian Horoscopes

  1. Pingback: First Trimester: Complete! | American Amma

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